Whoa whoa, no reason to call the guards. And I'm not coming from some self righteous moral angle. I mean it literally. How do you sleep at night?
As I lay in bed last night, I thought about the times when, half-delusional from lack of sleep, I'd imagine a pair of arms encircling me as I fell asleep. I always thought it was a little weird, but it seemed to help me to sleep, so there you go.
When you start thinking about it though, most everyone has a similar thing going on. No one wants to fall asleep alone. We fall asleep to the TV, to the radio, talking on the phone. Even praying to God (which Bill Mayer tells me is a delusion and is directly leading to Nuclear War! Also, I'm responsible for The Crusades. I'm not exactly sure how) , all things we do so we don't feel alone when we fall asleep.
Since it's so universal, there must be something in us that desires to not sleep alone. I think it really develops right when you hit puberty (you could argue that it's there even from birth, screaming babies in cribs quieting down when handed a teddy bear and all that), which is right when most of us start to get an idea of what loneliness is. It's when we get emotional, depressed and mood swingy. They say most of us grow out of it as we get older, but I think it's less about getting older than it is about dating.
By the time we hit, say, 20, most of us have had an, if not serious, at least affectionate relationship. We've probably fallen asleep beside someone. Most of us have had sex. (Which, you know, I'm not for, but statistics don't lie)(Okay, statistics do lie, but statistically speaking, they tell the truth more often than not). We've experienced falling asleep not alone, even if only the thoughts of the other person were there. Even post-breakup when we're single, the "sweet delight" folk among us wrap themselves in the knowledge that they won't always be sleeping alone. The more "endless night" among us, on the other hand, due to anxiety, depression, self-doubt, statistics, or from listening to too much depressing music, wonder if that was the end, if we were only meant to sleep soundly for one too brief period of our lives and now, due to mistake or circumstance, have only our regrets to fall asleep to. Which generally causes the EN's to make rash judgements, going to bed with strangers, getting in bad relationships, deciding that love isn't meant for us.
There's no doubt you've just gotten out of a relationship. Even my rudimentary understanding of tab-rags attests to that. And looking at Sam Robson, she was probably a heck of a spooner (tiny, but with strong arms, what with the disc jockey'ing and everything). At the moment, everyone seems to care what you're doing, but not how you're doing. Which is sad. There's not much I can do about. We don't know other, and now that I've started a blog based solely around letter writing to you, I've virtually guaranteed we never will. Your handlers would lose their shit.
"He's that boy from the blogspot. He's probably crazy, probably got an axe in his trunk. Like that guy in Dementia 13. Or Night of the Creeps!"
But if you'll allow me to begin again.
How do you sleep at night?
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