Letter 7: Peace by Inches

Linds, I can tell you're kinda down. How can I tell? Because I'm kinda down. Not going to go into it, but things aren't going so well, Linds. Every couple of hours, I listen to Al Pacino's speech from Any Given Sunday. I'm going to type it up for you. I would just cut and paste, but that's lazy. I'm not. Let's begin.

I don't know what to say really.

[That's actually how I most prayers. And every conversation with girls.]

Three minutes til the biggest battle of our professional lives.

[Oh, and the battle is with yourself. You've each got a hatchet]

It all comes down to today.

[Everyday]

Either we heal, as a team, or we're gonna crumble.

[You need to get a handle of all your shit]

Inch by inch, play by play, until we're finished.

[Healing's an ongoing process. Allowing your self the time to heal is an everyday, hour at a time process]

We're in Hell right now, gentlemen.

[Okay, so you're a chick. But still in Hell]

Believe me.

[Seriously]

And, we can stay here, get the shit kicked out of us

[High school taught me to go with option with the least amount of kicking]

Or we can fight our way back

[You'll notice, less kicking]

Into the light

[And not that dawn light that breaks over your glazed eyes when you leave a club after a hard night. The good kind of light]

We can climb out of Hell

One inch at a time

Now, I can't do it for you.

[I got shit to do]

I'm too old.

[Well, I'm not that old. But I feel that old. So let's keep it.]

I look around

I see these young faces and I think

[I can't really see your face]

I mean, I made every wrong choice a middle aged man can make.

[Despite not having been a quarter aged man yet, this still applies]

I pissed away all my money, believe it or not

[And while you probably still have pissable money, it's never too early to start rethinking lifestyle choices]

I chased off anyone who's ever loved me

[My sister's dog, when I was 12]

And lately, I can't even stand the face I see in the mirror

[My razor's been broke for weeks]

You know, when you get old in life,

things get taken from you

[Sure, you're what, 22? But making I Know Who Killed Me easily took off ten years.]

I mean, that's part of life

BUT, you only learn that

When you start losing stuff

You find out, life is this game of inches

[Much like fashion]

And so is football

[And so is fashion]

In either game, life or football

[Fashion]

The margin for error is so small

I mean, one half a step too late or too early

And you don't quite make it

One half second too slow, too fast

And you don't quite catch it

[That's how I dance. But with more flailing]

The inches we need are everything around us

They're in every break of the game, every minute every second

[Don't believe me? Go buy measuring tape. You'll find out.]

On this team, we fight for that inch

[Okay, so you're not part of a "team". I hear you like your sister. Let's call her part of your team]

On this team, we tear ourselves and everyone else around us to pieces for that inch

We claw, with our fingernails for that inch

[This is all metaphors. DON'T DO THIS!]

Cause we know when we add up all those inches that's gonna make the fucking difference between winning and losing, between living and dying

I tell ya this, in any fight, it's the guy who's willing to die who's going to win that inch

(Or girl. Or girls] [girl who's willing to die, not going to win a girl][or girls]

And I know, if I'm gonna have any life any more, it's because I'm stil willing to fight and die for that inch

[By have a life, I mean order some sandwiches from Yummy.com and watch a flick]

Because that's what living is.

[Sandwiches. Living is sandwiches]

the six inches in front of your face

[Just the right distance for a sandwich]

Now I can't make you do it

[But really, everyone loves sandwiches. I shouldn't have to make you]

You gotta look at the guy next to you, look into his eyes

[Again, look at your sister. Look into her eyes. Suddenly my hit count is going up. Finally]

Now I think you're going to see a guy who will go that inch with you

[By guy, I mean your sister. By inch, I mean out for sandwiches]

You're gonna see a guy who will sacrifice himself for this team because he knows when it comes down to it, you're gonna do that same for him.

[Your sister knows that five, six years from now, when she gets dumped by a DJ, she can call you and you're going to come running, sandwiches in one hand, ice cream in the other]

That's a team gentlemen

[While you're not a gentleman, that's still a team]

Now ether we heal now as a team or we will die as individuals

[It's okay to let your sister in. Or a sandwich. They both have great healing powers]

That's football guys

[Also, fashion, ladies]

That's all it is

[Sandwiches are not that complicated. Unlike fashion]

Now, what are you gonna do?

[I recommend the Rueben, a nice cold glass of Cherry Pepsi, shopping around for original material you could develop, and sign up for some college classes]